All of Heaven Waits For a Sinner to Come Home

       Sunday night at church I heard a message that caused such a revelation in my heart. No one is too far gone from the grace and goodness of Jesus. Like I said, this message was heard at church but God blessed my heart by letting me see and feel what it means to never be out of God's reach.

Last week I met Lieutenant Steve at the East Harlem Salvation Army who is originally from Kentucky, but moved to New York City because he fell in love with serving the poor in Harlem. He shared with my team a little about his family, explaining that his sister is in training to begin working at the Salvation Army as well. When asked about the rest of his family, he explained with complete confidence that they were "Pre-Christian" because he knows and trusts that God will transform their hearts on His time. No one is too far gone.

      Yesterday I met a man who shared with me a lot about his journey and how he became who he is. He was raised in Ghana in a Hindu home, but to get an education during that time he had to attend a catholic church. He grew up surrounded by two very different and conflicting belief systems. Hinduism being his parents beliefs, not his own, and Christianity being somewhat forced on him. He formed different opinions about both, one providing him with education and basic needs like clothing or food, the other feeling very much like rituals and rules without spiritual connection. As he grew older he fell in love with a woman who begged him to move to New York City with her, so he did, unfortunately the couple separated leaving this man homeless in Harlem. He stayed at a homeless shelter on the very same street as the East Harlem Salvation Army, and one day he felt a deep yearning to attend some sort of church service. When he walked past the Salvation Army he was invited in. He continued to attend service there and also began working in the kitchen as a dishwasher. Within the first month of this new job he began preaching at the Sunday Services. He's been a christian for only three years but has an abundant amount of biblical knowledge and a deep and passionate love for God. No one is too far gone.

      My brother has been an atheist for as long as I can remember. When I began going to church and discovering my faith he tried to challenge me by asking deep, theological questions that I still cannot answer. I've seen in him that deep haunting emptiness that longs to be filled with a sense of purpose, the emptiness that we all feel when we don't know Who we are living for. I've seen his struggle with depression and guilt, always feeling like he's done too much wrong and can't move forward. At times I've even felt like there's no turning back for him. But two weeks ago I received a phone call from my mom that brought tears of joy to my eyes when she explained that my faith-lacking,'too far gone' brother had cried out the name of Jesus. I don't know his heart and I don't know the plans that the Lord has for him but I know that he is not too far gone.

      No one is, or will ever be too far gone. We serve a God who knows our hearts. He knows our pain and emptiness because He came to experience it Himself. He understands our yearning for purpose and He fills our souls with His perfect peace, love and grace. Because in our emptiness we have the opportunity to turn to God and fully receive Him. This is not an altar call, or a sermon, or a salvation prayer. This is not a way of life, religion, or part of a culture. This is not a labelled relationship. Jesus is beyond all of our labels and categories. Jesus is life, the only life. And every breath is a second chance.

**The title of this blog post, and a lot of ideas are based off of Carl Lents' sermon called "Just Hold On, I'm Coming Home"

Thank you for reading and continue to pray for family, friends, and strangers that you may have once labelled "too far gone"

Shattered

Harlem so far...

        It's sort of crazy how the Lord completely shatters expectations you didn't know were there. Specifically, I'm talking about my team, I expected my team to look like the "ideal christians" with their lives neatly sorted, but instead I found us to be a group of people who have a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. We all sort of ended up on this trip, leaving home with hesitations about where we are being led and what's next. We aren't perfect. We know we aren't perfect. But for some reason we felt an undeniable stirring only caused by a God who knows us. He beckons us from different parts of the country, He encourages us to trust His plan and leave behind the plans we were comfortably making for ourselves. He calms our hesitations about leaving fragile family situations and security we have found in our education and career. He unites us with this passion we all have to serve Him. He continues to give us glimpses of who He is in small moments spent with a group of strangers that would only meet on the basis of knowing a God that sees them in their plain, boring, ordinary lives and calls them to an adventure that is carefully planned out by their Guide.*  

     Another shattered expectation was the training we went through the first three days in Harlem. I assumed it would be preparation for our minds, like learning some of the language and linguistics to the cultures we would be living in but I should have expected God to shatter that one too. (The thing with God is you always think you're catching on to what He's doing and you never are. He will always surprise you in big, scary, crazy, beautiful, loving ways. Embrace this.)  Training was about preparing our minds but more importantly about preparing our hearts and spirits. The Lord stretched me with questions about worldview, creation, dignity and brokenness. Questions that ask things that have never occurred to me, like how to serve someone in a way that upholds their dignity, and how worldview affects the relationships we are building. I've never thought about the difference between nature and creation, or how negatively the impoverished would describe themselves. I never saw that handouts destroyed dignity and only create open, expectant hands, or that there are seven types of poverty that all equally lead to a brokenness that only Jesus can heal. I am not going to Africa to change lives. I'm not going to Africa to do. I'm going to Africa to live. I will not put God in that old, familiar box that I used to. I will not search for comfort or ways to feel useful. I will not give until I realize how much I'm receiving. I'm faithful that God will unite my heart to the hearts of the people He will bless me with in Africa, no matter how different our cultures and our lives tell us we are. We serve the same God who sees us, and wants to walk hand in hand with us through everyday.

*The last part of that sentence is stolen from Jesus Calling for January 13 (the day this adventure began! I get it, God)

Some Quotes and Love Notes

I would like to start off my first official blog post with none of my own original thoughts. So I'm going to use the thoughts of people in my life who have spent time praying and encouraging me through notes and cards and hand written letters. Thank you all for bringing so much light into my life through your gentle and kind hearted words:
"After seeing everything you can do for me here, I just know you will be a huge success in Africa"
"I leave you with this: Wake up everyday believing that you will change lives"
"I only give my coloring pages to special people"
"It turns out that Hallmark doesn't make 'Good Luck in Africa' cards..."
"Not sure how to write this card. I've never written a card for a friend leaving for Africa before"
"Princess,"
"Have fun, go crazy, be the WOMYN that you truly are"
"P.S. Africa is really hard to draw"
"Don't forget sunscreen for your delicate, pasty skin, don't forget about us little people back here"
"P.S. You better be bringing me home a little African baby"
"You are one of a kind, even though you remind me of someone I know..I can't quite pinpoint who"
"I miss you and all of your singing"
These are just some of the words that were written to me in letters and cards, but all though the quotes I have chosen to share seem funny and simple, let me assure you that every person who took the time to pray, think, write, donate, sponsor or help me in any way, has impacted me. I have been blessed immeasurably by the people allowing God to show himself to me through their kindness. "To love another person is to see the face of God" is the only thing that comes to mind when I reflect on the blessed people God has allowed me to encounter. Thank you all for taking on this journey with me. It is just beginning.

(Also its 2:20 am so if there are missing words or anything wacky, go easy on me, I'm not attending college this year, after all.)