As I've experienced 3 very distinct communities I'm beginning to reflect on how this journey has changed and molded my heart and mind.
I've realized that my definitions for words like: dirty, comfortable, home, family, trust, and purpose, have drastically transformed.
Through my experience in Africa I've learned just how raw God really is. It doesn't exactly sound like a term of endearment, but I've discovered that true faith is unedited and uncut. It's not the pretty version of Christianity that we sometimes receive at our Sunday service, it's the living-as-the-hands-and-feet-of-Jesus-everyday kind of version. It's the not so pretty version; looking into the ugly to find the beautiful.
This revelation has awakened me to the exclusive Jesus we sell people, and the characteristics of Jesus that we tuck away to contain the image we created for him. But I no longer want to perpetuate the lies about who Jesus was to fit in to a comfortable box. His life wasn't only about playing with children and healing lepers (keyword: only). He was a honest, intelligent and bold teacher. He lived raw. He was raw. Isaiah 53:2 states that, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." The world saw nothing special in Jesus. He was just a man. A man who had real and raw emotions, just like we do. He's the one who was so enraged by the people using his house of prayer as a marketplace that he began overturning tables. This is the man that was so deeply moved by the spirit that he wept over the death of Lazarus. The man who was tempted in every possible way, and who had to choose to sit in the quiet of God just to clear his head. Jesus, the son of man, was fully human and fully God. He was perfect as God and as human as man. Jesus is our savior but he is so much more than that. We must love God not because of what he does for us, but for who he actually is. I love him because he is raw just like me. He had to choose God over the world, day in and day out. He dealt with all of the sins I carry and more. He is all loving and giving, but he experiences my pains and sorrows too. He can't be photoshopped into what I want him to be. He is who he is. He reminds me that the world will always see me as inadequate when I'm serving God, but God will see me as perfect.
I've discovered that the idea of Christianity solving my problems is a fallacy. Scripture says that (1 John 2:6) "whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did." That isn't an easy walk. Jesus endured the greatest suffering and rejection this world has known. Life wasn't easy for him, and if we live like him it won't be easy for us. Looking back, living in Lesotho was one of the most difficult experiences I've ever had but it's the closest to Jesus I've ever felt. Every step I took, I took knowing that Jesus walked before me. When people stared or laughed, I felt a small portion of the rejection that he felt. When people expected things from him because we was God, I felt that when countless people asked for coins or sweets solely because of the color of my skin. When I had small opportunities to pull away from everyone and everything, I felt like Jesus spending time on the mountain with his father. The challenges are so hard, and they appear to be off-putting but The Lord promises that although it won't be easy, it will be worth it. Hebrews 11 summarizes some of Gods most faithful people and the trust they demonstrated before Him.The chapter accounts for the faithful but declares that they did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. the chapter concludes that -God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
This experience abroad has opened my eyes to my purpose. My daily purpose is to throw myself at the feet of Jesus. It's the only thing worth doing in life.
I've learned that my life is just a story that God will use to reveal himself.
Hebrews 11:13c
Hebrews 11:40
